How Things Are Going

Well it hasn't been easy. There are good days and bad days of course. It's funny (or not so funny) how you really forget what it's like to take care of a newborn. I thought I was ready but having 2 throws me through the loop most days. We are still adjusting. I think you just have to hang in there for the first couple months. I've needed to remind myself that things will settle down, but it might take awhile. I'll find time for cleaning and exercising and spending time with Paul and maybe even a few minutes to myself here and there-- eventually. I'm holding out for November :)

One new challenge presented itself this week when we took Braden to the doctor. At his one month check he was still at birth weight. He hasn't gained anything in 2 weeks. The doctor basically told me he is starving and I felt terrible. She said to buy a pump and buy formula and start a new routine. I nurse on one side, feed him a 2 oz bottle of either pumped milk or formula, then pump the other side. When pumping I only get one ounce, which I don't think is too much. I am able to feed him pumped milk as a supplement every other feeding and formula every other time. Poor little guy. I felt a lot of guilt and wondered if I had done things differently if he would be doing better. Our new routine with pumping etc, isn't too fun, especially in the middle of the night. I hope at next week's appointment he will have gained some weight and we can decide where to go from there. I have read up and talked to LLL about increasing my milk supply. We are taking away the binky (for the most part) and trying to feed more frequently, hoping that will help increase my supply. I struggled with milk supply with Susanna as well but I thought it was just because I had to go back to work and was only able to pump once during the school day. I think the adversary has really tried to make me feel overwhelmed and guilty and hopeless. Thankfully, when I pray I feel a lot of peace. I might have to feed my babies formula. I might be one of those women who just don't make enough milk. All I can do is give it my best. It will be ok.

I am trying to be good with pictures. They grow so fast. Braden is a month old and Susie turned 2 and half on Wednesday. (We celebrate half birthdays in this house with half birthday cake!).

Susie has become quite the little mama. She is good to nurse her stuffed animals and dolls and change their diapers. 

Braden's first bath at about 2 weeks old (we waited for the circumcision to heal first). He doesn't like baths too much. 

We went to the dollar store and put together these "nursing bins." We have coloring, play dough, water colors, and stickers books in them. She can do these things by herself so it's been good. When I nurse it's this or cartons. 

She's getting away with more, that's for sure. Here she has taken all the pillows off the couch and is doing "canon balls". 

This is her -"hey mom! did you see that?!"- face.

Happy half birthday my girl! 

They are both out. So glad to have a helper.

 I would really like to blog about "how to help a new mom" so I can remember things I learning now to help someone else. I'm grateful for all the help and support I get from my family and friends. Reassurance and an encouraging word go a long way when you're taking care of a new baby. 

Welcome Little Braden

I love looking at this picture of my little family. I'm very grateful for my good husband and my TWO cute kids. For the baby story see below!

I really wanted to go in to labor in my own this time. I had to be induced with Susie because she was so late. That went really well but I wanted to see if my body could go in to labor on it's own. However.. my mom and sister had a window of time they could come down to help and Paul had finals starting a few days after my due date. So to make a long story short, we ended up deciding to be induced. My doctor said I looked ready and that inducing would go well so we scheduled it for my due date. They ended up being full that day so we went in the day before I was due. The hospital called at 6am Tuesday morning. Luckily my mom and sister had flown in the day before so we left Susie with them and headed to the hospital. When we got there I was dilated to a 2 so they decided to start me on pitocin right away. Let the fun begin!

My doctor came in an hour or so later to break my water. I hadn't had an epidural yet and so that was pretty painful. She decided to come back after my epidural and try again. By noon I had an epidural and my water broken so then it was just a matter of waiting. We waited and waited. I felt particularly tired this time around. I couldn't keep my eyes open for more than 20 minutes at a time. I made it to a 4 pretty quickly but then stayed there for hours! I think I was at a 4 from around noon to 6pm. After that I made progress quickly. My doctor had gone home for the day by the time I was ready to push so my nurse called to let her know I was ready. It seemed like she'd never get there! I was sure my nurse was going to end up delivering the baby. I pushed for about 20 minutes (3 of which the doctor was present for) and he arrived at 9:15pm. 

Holding my new baby for the first time was pretty amazing. It was a special experience with Susie, too. You don't expect it but when you see them for the first time, the feelings and emotions are overwhelming. What a happy moment! I will always cherish the memory of meeting my children for the first time.

At Arrowhead they have couplet care, which means babies stay with their parents the duration of their stay. Luckily I was still able to get a little sleep (not much though!). I was anxious to get home. Babies have to stay 24 hours after delivery for a few tests that need to be done. They said we could go as soon as the test results got back so we ended up leaving about midnight the following night. One less night in the hospital room sounded good to me! We drove home and showered and got a pretty good nights rest thanks to Braden. 

The next few nights were rough but since then he is doing a bit better. He will sleep well at night if he is held. We've started taking turns holding him, sleeping on the couch. Paul will take him at 11pm after he is fed and sleep with him until he wakes up, which is always around 2am. Then he comes and gets me and I feed Braden and then sleep with him on the couch until he wakes up again at 6am. Not too bad! I miss sleeping in my bed but we get more sleep this way. If we put him in his crib he wakes up more frequently. We want to help him get used to his crib so our goal is to use to crib for all nap times and at 4 weeks old, start putting him in the crib at night as well. We really like the Babywise routine so we are working on that and it is going pretty good.

For the first 2 weeks Braden was a fairly easy newborn. Not a lot of fussing, especially after I stopped eating dairy. Since he has turned 2 weeks old he has gotten fussier. Right now he is still doing better than Susie was at his age, so that's good news! I can tell his tummy bothers him a lot. When he starts falling asleep he will often start crying randomly and I can tell he is in pain. I can hear lots of rumbling in his tummy and lots of spit up being swallowed again. We are keeping an eye on him and discussing it all with our pediatrician to make sure we are doing everything we can to help him. Poor little boy!

I have had a lot of help with the 2 kids so far. My mom and sister Olivia came the day before Susie was born and Mom stayed 9 days. It was heavenly. Olivia watched Susie while we were all at the hospital and that was so nice. She had to leave a few days after Braden was born but Mom was able to stay longer. She spoiled me rotten the whole time she was here. Back rubs, hot meals, cleaning house, not to mention getting to hang out! It was so nice. (She always brings surprises when she comes.)

When she left Paul only had a few more days of finals, which we survived. Then he had a week off! Yay! It's been wonderful. I hope he can always take some time off of work when we have a baby because it has been so nice to tag team everything for awhile. Paul is a great friend and support too so it makes things so much easier when he is around. He is starting rotations in 2 days so hopefully I do ok on my own! I know it will take some adjusting. Paul will be at his rotations (his first one is at a Banner hospital pharmacy) Monday through Friday 8-5, which leaves only Saturdays for him to work. That means Sunday will be our only day together. At least he will be home in the evenings with not much studying to do. 

It's true that newborns aren't easy but it is helpful to keep in mind that things get easier as they get older. We will find a new groove, get into a new schedule, and things will get back to normal. With that in mind I am enjoying my new little boy. We love him so much and are so grateful he is here. 

Summer Fun

Ok, sorry I've got lots of pictures. We have been enjoying our summer (despite the heat!). Preschool got out the end of May and I was worried that Sam, Susie, and I were going to be bored out of our minds so we tried to get some summer plans together. It's worked out great! We have something for each day of the week, whether it's a playgroup, Harkins summer movie fun, going swimming, to Play Factory, etc. We have a list of fun activities for at home too like ballon rockets, baking cookies, and dressing up. 

We decided to do swim lessons the beginning of June. They lasted for 2 weeks and Susie did really well. She cried a little but learned a lot. Now when I try to get her to do things she learned at swim she refuses so it's a little bit of a battle but I'm glad we did them anyway. I know if she fell in a pool on accident she wouldn't drown, so that's good! 

We've used the library's culture pass to go fun places, including the Science Museum pictured below. We also bought a $19 Groupon for a month membership to the Play Factory at Desert Ridge which has been pretty much the best 20 I've ever spent. My little sister Olivia came to visit and we took her there too. We had lots of fun while she was here. She is such an amazing little Aunt! She loves Susie to death. I just loved having her here. 

 Sam went to visit his dad in Idaho for a week so Susie and I spent the last week just the 2 of us. It was actually a lot of fun. Susie is such a riot to hang out with. She is my little buddy. We sing primary songs together and play make believe and have races in the hall and run errands together. She is growing up so much, she is really fun to talk to and play with. Recently she started this new thing- she will do something silly and then look at me and say "see that?!" (like, did you see that mom!?)  It's really cute. She loves to sing primary songs with me. We are working with her to learn colors and letters. We have a treasure box she gets to pick out of when she sits down to learn. I just love my little girl. I know things are going to change soon but I also know that one of the best things I can do for Susie is to give her a sibling. I'm just going to have to try and remember that when it gets rough!

We had a fun 4th of July. We went out to lunch as a family and then spent the evening with some pharmacy school friends swimming and picnicking. Paul had a big test the next day so he was busy studying all that night but Susie and I stayed up late and drove out to see fireworks. We found a perfect spot and had a great view of the show. That will be a great memory for me. 

The pregnancy is going well besides the fact that I want to eat... all the time. Ice cream mostly. I'm trying to be good. I've made eclairs twice in the last month. I guess I need to try harder. Three more weeks until our due date! 

Still Pregnant

Yes I'm still pregnant. It's been fun because I've been pregnant with a couple of my friends this time around. As of this week they have all had their babies and I'm left alone with a whopping six more weeks. :) It seems like I should be done too! It's not too bad though. My worst symptom is that I'm uncomfortable, particularly sleeping. Poor Paul, I sleep with about 5 pillows. They help but I still toss and turn and wake up like I've been training for a triathlon (I feel sore). 

I've been grateful to be able to keep exercising. I'm still able to run- I go 4 miles twice a week and then do strength training 2 other times in the week. I've gained 16 pounds so far. I am 34 weeks today. I think this little boy is going to be bigger than Susanna because he feels huge inside. I can feel him almost constantly and sometimes it's down right crazy! The summersaults and acrobats can be a little painful.

One thing I've noticed about my 3rd trimester (both pregnancies) is how sentimental I get. I'm not emotional in that I get upset, I am emotional in that I feel strongly about everything. The best way to describe it is being sentimental. I want to hug and kiss Paul and Susie all day and snuggle and be together. I can't watch action movies where people die because it's too upsetting (hilarious- I know, but it's true). The other day we tried to watch Jack Reacher. I figured I would stick it out because tomorrow was Father's Day. In the movie a girl gets shot and she is holding a 7 year old. I pretty much broke down. I had to go and snuggle with Susie upstairs for about an hour. Sorry Paul. Ha ha! It's just funny most of the time. 

31 weeks 

34 weeks 

(I know the overalls are ridiculous but they are pretty comfortable!)

Star Wars Baby Shower

My dear friend Mindy offered to throw me a baby shower. And not just any baby shower. A Star Wars baby shower. Sounds fun to me! We had all kinds of fun decorations. 

My favorite game we played was this "predict his face" game. Mindy printed a bunch of pictures of Paul and I. Instructions were to cut out different features of our faces and paste them on another sheet to predict what our son will look like in his adult years. It was hilarious. There were some seriously great ensembles. I got to pick the winning picture. We also played "guess the midichlorian count" where they had to guess how big I was around (40 1/2 inches, thank you). The winners of the game were awarded Jedi master pins. :)

We also had lots of yummy stars wars themed food: Darth Maul dessert, Droid dip and chips, Endor fruit platter, Hans Rolos, Wookie cookies, Palpatine pizza bites, and Yoda soda. 

 Mindy did such a great job! I was so touched to have so many great friends come and celebrate with us. We were given lots of great baby boys things, clothes, binkys, blankets, even a boppy! Yay! I'm excited to start getting things all ready for our little boy's arrival. We are getting into the final countdown. 8 more weeks! 

Thanks again Mindy!!!

PS- I made this shirt myself. I thought it turned out legit. :)