How Things Are Going

Well it hasn't been easy. There are good days and bad days of course. It's funny (or not so funny) how you really forget what it's like to take care of a newborn. I thought I was ready but having 2 throws me through the loop most days. We are still adjusting. I think you just have to hang in there for the first couple months. I've needed to remind myself that things will settle down, but it might take awhile. I'll find time for cleaning and exercising and spending time with Paul and maybe even a few minutes to myself here and there-- eventually. I'm holding out for November :)

One new challenge presented itself this week when we took Braden to the doctor. At his one month check he was still at birth weight. He hasn't gained anything in 2 weeks. The doctor basically told me he is starving and I felt terrible. She said to buy a pump and buy formula and start a new routine. I nurse on one side, feed him a 2 oz bottle of either pumped milk or formula, then pump the other side. When pumping I only get one ounce, which I don't think is too much. I am able to feed him pumped milk as a supplement every other feeding and formula every other time. Poor little guy. I felt a lot of guilt and wondered if I had done things differently if he would be doing better. Our new routine with pumping etc, isn't too fun, especially in the middle of the night. I hope at next week's appointment he will have gained some weight and we can decide where to go from there. I have read up and talked to LLL about increasing my milk supply. We are taking away the binky (for the most part) and trying to feed more frequently, hoping that will help increase my supply. I struggled with milk supply with Susanna as well but I thought it was just because I had to go back to work and was only able to pump once during the school day. I think the adversary has really tried to make me feel overwhelmed and guilty and hopeless. Thankfully, when I pray I feel a lot of peace. I might have to feed my babies formula. I might be one of those women who just don't make enough milk. All I can do is give it my best. It will be ok.

I am trying to be good with pictures. They grow so fast. Braden is a month old and Susie turned 2 and half on Wednesday. (We celebrate half birthdays in this house with half birthday cake!).

Susie has become quite the little mama. She is good to nurse her stuffed animals and dolls and change their diapers. 

Braden's first bath at about 2 weeks old (we waited for the circumcision to heal first). He doesn't like baths too much. 

We went to the dollar store and put together these "nursing bins." We have coloring, play dough, water colors, and stickers books in them. She can do these things by herself so it's been good. When I nurse it's this or cartons. 

She's getting away with more, that's for sure. Here she has taken all the pillows off the couch and is doing "canon balls". 

This is her -"hey mom! did you see that?!"- face.

Happy half birthday my girl! 

They are both out. So glad to have a helper.

 I would really like to blog about "how to help a new mom" so I can remember things I learning now to help someone else. I'm grateful for all the help and support I get from my family and friends. Reassurance and an encouraging word go a long way when you're taking care of a new baby.